Fabulously Single!

Valentine’s Day is upon us, and its chasing down single women and men like every time.. And they ..run from the thought of spending another February 14th alone.
From the “I love you my vanilla dollop or pumpkin pie or marshmallow sooooooo much!” posts that wage war on our Facebook feeds that stare right at us …
Hard Truth: let’s face it: Valentine’s Day is not an equal opportunity day of celebration like the republic day or Independence Day. At least not to me…
It’s more of celebrating My Independence day!!
That’s why I wanted to flip the coin for a change for the good of all the stunning SINGLE women and men out there…if they can relate to what I’m saying, and provide a little positive motivation and inspiration for the whole month…maybe!! Guidelines to survive the season at ease…!!
And the reason to why you have all the rights to celebrate YOU and YOUR independence.
If Valentine’s Day or month is the “Day or Month of Love” isn’t this the absolute perfect time to love yourself a little more fiercely and passionately? Go on dates with yourself… Pamper yourself at the SPA or go shopping and buy stuff for yourselves… or get that wacky haircut you always wanted.
And to remind yourself of how strong spirited, and independent woman you are despite the judgments thrown at you from every side?
To celebrate yourself and your precious life God has given to cherish and make the best use of your God given singleness!
So if you’re sad and struggling with the fact that another Valentine’s is dawning right on you  and you’re not yet at a table for two…Muttering “Why Me.. Again??”
Here are a few reasons to why you need to celebrate “You” this season!
If you can relate … Brilliant!! Some I have heard or read somewhere and are apt, some are mine and some are just facts
·         You need to love yourself before you ask someone else to love you
·         “Good Enough”   is not good enough for you.
·         You’ve decided that whether or not love arrives in its glory… you are still gonna thrive
·         Your worth, happiness, self confidence, identity does not depend on your relationship status in real or reel life… or even on face book.
·         You trust God’s perfect timing and you know every moment of the wait is preparing you for the one who have been waiting for all your life
·         For You… settling is not an option
·         Before you are ready to wear a diamond, you want to become one.
·         You can buy your own roses ,chocolates and  teddy bears
·         You are too fabulous to settle
·         Because You are waiting for God to bring you the right one
·         Because there are still things you meant or want to accomplish as a single!
·         You have standards and won’t settle for  less
·         You know your divine destiny and cant compromise on your calling
·         You haven’t found “THE” person. (Or “lobster,” as Phoebe Buffay in F.R.I.E.N.D.S would say 😉 )
·         You are unique, talented, purposeful, meaningful people with hugely important lives and destinies.
·         Your unattached, unencumbered single lives can serve  MORE enriching purpose than your future married lives, because you will be able to wholeheartedly and without distraction.. Pursue your passions, your calling, and your dreams. ..Your greater purpose..Involved in your ministry without anything attached
·         You can go out meet new people, enjoy the sun and sand without any inhibitions
·         You Adam is still sleeping and hasn’t still woken up to recognize you
·         The man maybe stuck on a tree or hit by a truck or stuck in traffic(If Bangalore)
·         You want to stop waiting and start LIVING.
·         You are brave ,you’d rather walk alone than with someone who is unworthy of you
·         You are the cake, relationship is the icing.. With or without the icing, a cake is still a cake.
·         You’ve created a life that you love and you don’t need to be rescued from it
·         You are independent and can take care of your self
·         You will love when you are ready and not when you are lonely
·         You’re not willing to trade in your dignity in order to chase after any man. And your dignity and self-esteem are never worth surrendering, for anyone or anything.
·         You realize that you are worth being pursued. You deserve a man who is willing to do whatever it takes to capture your heart. You are giving your life, mind , legs and your heart a break
·         You only chase dreams not People
·         You are an asset to a man not a liability
·         You know that A man who wants to be with a woman will always be running TOWARDS her and you don’t have to run towards him
·         Your life looks like a metal mesh already that needs to be sorted out before you get into another mesh
·         The smarter the woman is, it’s more difficult to find a man!
·         You are not ready to give in time and energy into a relationship
·         You are yet to wear the floating gear of “mature mentally emotionally” before you plunge into the river called “Marriage and Commitment”
·         You know your identity, worth and value and would give to a MAN who deserves it . And handle with care!!
·         You know for the fact that : A Man takes a wife and he needs to pursue you to get to you and not the other way around.
·         You know Chemistry or the outward appearance does not and should not outweigh character, it’s like having a beautifully wrapped box that’s empty
·         You did everything right and still ended up in the wrong place, with the wrong person and now learnt how to navigate through
·         You know that if A MAN who really, truly loves you will always show up for you face to face and admit that he means business, hangs on through the wind and waves and turbulence and refuses to let go. He is strapped and locked in !!

These are a few reasons why I feel you should let your hair down and enjoy this season.
A season to celebrate you!! Work on , cherish, admire the single YOU!!

First on my checklist .. Get my hair dyed RED! To celebrate the season of Love!

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Get this right…
“A woman who creates a full, joyful, meaningful, positive life for herself is a lot more appealing and attractive than a woman who waits around on a man to do it for her”

You don’t need a man to create a life for you .. You are strong and  invincible.
You have an identity in Christ.. You are a complete person!!
A relationship can someday ADD to that, but it cannot and will not ever define or replace your greater purpose.
There is something you and only you are meant to do with your life that isn’t dependent upon a relationship to make it happen.
You don’t need a significant other to lead a significant life
Don’t let anyone tell you who you are !!
You are not “romantically challenged” (I get that a lot) !!. It simply means that you haven’t found my person. Period.
You  have to stop blaming yourselves.. And feeling broken and analyze what went wrong
Walk in freedom of the opinions of others.
I understand the journey of a single woman is not an easy one, but remember you have the power to welcome the unknown with the confidence that nothing can pin you down.
Embrace your freedom as the gift from above…you pave your own way…you decide what and how you want to do and you need no permission from anyone to do so.
There is zeal and an Unquenchable fire inside every single woman that can never be tamed or even understood by the closed minded people around …an unwillingness to settle…an independence that can’t be surrendered.. I hear you

I’m well aware that you are not afraid to fall…because each time you fall, you know God’s got your back. You know you won’t stay down there and mull over there… but rise up stronger and wiser, dust it off and move on!

There is a wisdom you possess that comes from surviving a broken heart, picking up the shattered pieces and moving on…and you don’t wanna take the road again.

You rather be alone and happy than get into the clutches of something you are not ready for.

You have the confidence to enter into a room accompanied by no one but yourself.

I understand that everyone seems to want to meddle with the life of the woman who refuses to settle – Everyone ..I mean everyone, people’s names you haven’t even heard in your entire life ; setting you up on endless dates with guys whom you have no interest in, calling you “desperate” or “lonely” or “too picky,” or asking: “What’s wrong with her?”
Worse is to hear that “You have very high standards!!”
Gosh!! I would like to ask: “What’s not right with her? Yes!! She has High Standards, It’s not a crime …coz  She is Awesome, Bold and Beautiful..She knows her identity”
To take the uncertain solitude path with bravery and faith is something to be applauded and be proud of.
I would call it bold, courageous and unique and not sad , pathetic, clueless  or weak in any way.
Is it too much to ask,  to expect the society we live  to celebrate US and our choices we make to fix ourselves or even find ourselves before we take the huge step of marriage or a relationship?
Or To even give us little credit and cheer us “ single woman”  for being courageous enough to search for ourselves instead of endlessly searching for a mate or the perfect husband?
Marriage is a beautiful, wonderful and sacred … God institutes marriage..He brings together and builds.. No doubt! When He can make MAN out of dust and breathe into him… How hard is it  to bring him to you ??
But until it arrives, shouldn’t we give ourselves permission to THRIVE and work on ourselves and have fun??
Don’t know about you, but
I LIKE being able to spend money on myself without asking anyone’s permission.
I LIKE to take myself out on a weekly or monthly date to the coffee shop or the movies and spend time in my own company.
I LIKE staying in my pjs all day long and watching “Friends” “Notebook” “Ps I Love You” marathon while eating pasta, sipping on lemon soda that I made and not feeling guilty about it.
I LIKE not having to get my hair, eyebrows or my nails done if I don’t want to.
I LIKE taking weekend trips when I feel like.
I LIKE that I don’t have to ask anyone to Dye my hair .. Like I already did !!
I LIKE the freedom that comes with I‘m doing it because “I WANT TO” not “I HAVE TO”
And while I’d love to eventually have someone join me on my journey, but I refuse to stay grounded or tied till that someone joins me on that journey of Life.
So I want to encourage you, my beautiful single ladies to start to see yourselves for the truly brave, empowered, sassy, independent women that you are.
Rip out the words  “Needy”“Desperate” “Picky” “High Maintenance” from your mind or from your ecosystem  because we….single women, ARE NEITHER.
We are tough. We are bold. We are fierce. We face the world with a smile…and we don’t back down or step back or break down.
If we do.. We grow stronger … We are Diamonds
Coal under Pressure makes Diamonds!
We don’t let the idea of going to dinner alone intimidate us.
We don’t let the threat of bumping into an ex haunt us.
We walk a path that many fear to tread upon…a path that forces us to constantly step out of our comfort zones…
I might sound harsh or come out too strong .. Bottom Line is ..
Submit to God, and tell the enemy to get lost. Choose to think about blessings God has showered on your life instead of things that will weigh you down, and Fix your eyes on God.
Let God Lead in every area of your life, trusting in His unfailing love for us.
God has complete control over your life… Our God is more than able, and He will work everything out for good, He is pretty good at His job..! He definitely knows what He is doing..
At the right time he will let your paths cross..! Coz He is your match maker and painting your love life.. He is not done yet !! It’s not over unless He tells its over.!
So chillax and Breathe ON!!.
Romans 8:28, And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

With much love and dash of Sass,
Lincy Hepsiba

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